Leap of Faith
by Bakura's Guardian Angel
Summary: All people go through life waiting for someone to fill the empty space, someone to prove that you won't always be alone. And sometimes, the only way to know if you've found them is to take a leap of faith. Hostshipping RyouxAnzu AU, Ryou meets Anzu at a club he works at, and feels a connection he's never felt before. Will his 'condition' stop him from letting her into his life?


__A/N: AU, Hostshipping, Written for my own entertainment, Posted for your reading pleasure, Enjoy...

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_There are many people who haven't fulfilled their dreams because they over thought it, or they were too cautious, and were unwilling to make the **leap of faith**. _

_~James Cameron~_  
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All people go throughout life waiting for something…for _someone_; someone to fill the empty space; someone to prove that you aren't always going to be alone. They wait, and they hope. They silently fear that they'll never find it.

And then…suddenly…they do.

Something clicks, like two puzzle pieces snapping together to create a perfect fit. The realization comes, only then, after so many failed attempts, that no other piece could have filled that empty space so _exactly_.

The problem is that people are more complex than puzzle pieces. Too many people miss their moments. There are those that are too blind to see that something, that wonderful perfect something, pass them by. So many people expect that if it is right, then it must be easy, and they give up at the first sign of adversity. And too many, far too many, doubt, refusing to believe that it could happen to them.

Too many people are simply too afraid to take a chance.

But sometimes, the only way to find out if you've found a perfect fit…is to take a leap of faith.

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Ryou Bakura worked at a club called The Venue. The nights were late, and it was only a few notches above minimum wage, but it paid the bills from month-to-month and allotted him enough time to continue his schooling part-time on scholarship.

"Pick up the pace, Bakura, the orders are backing up," Ryou's manager said in a snappy no-nonsense voice, clapping her hands together.

Ryou nodded, and the woman returned to the commotion outside. He could feel the beat of the club pulsing through the walls and floor, sending slight tremors through him. The music was a dulled roar behind the closed doors of the club's pristine kitchen. Wiping his hands on a towel, Ryou picked up a round tray laden with alcoholic drinks and various appetizers before he again left the relative peace of the back and returned to the main body of the building.

Lights flashed, sending sparkling shards of rainbow color in every direction. The music pounded, vibrating the very air. Strobe lights and spotlights flashed in the pulsing mass of human bodies that were accumulated on the dance floor, illuminating them for seconds before the rainbow lights and dark of the room swallowed them again.

Walking carefully in the dim lighting, Ryou maneuvered the other half of the room, filled with tables for patrons to sit down, drink, order food, and escape the mass of bodies, all moving in tandem to the music. He ignored the frequent glances in his direction, and did not acknowledge the occasional cat calls and racy comments thrown at him. That sort of treatment was to be expected from the rambunctious young adults that populated The Venue, bolstered by the alcohol burning in their veins, and backed up by friends. Given Ryou's exotic appearance, it was natural that he would become a target of their attention.

Ryou was not originally from Japan, and it showed. He was tall, and his skin was very pale. His eyes were a deep russet, the color of fresh-turned earth, and accented with slight green flecks. His exoticism aside, the young man was still unique. He had been born with hair that was a snowy white, as though he'd bleached it to its limit, and yet it was natural. If that were not enough of an attention-getter, his hair was also long. He had grown it out until it brushed past his shoulders. He kept it styled, either letting it hang naturally, gelled only minimally for shape, or he often pulled it into a low ponytail, keeping it out of his way.

Unsurprisingly, Ryou stood out.

The manager of The Venue had warned Ryou of the attention he might receive working at the club, but Ryou had accepted the job regardless. He could handle a little unwanted attention.

It wasn't as though he wasn't used to it.

As Ryou went around delivering drinks and food to the tables, he caught snippets of conversations, practically shouted at each other over the music.

"Think she'll come tonight?" Ryou heard a young man with artificial blonde hair shout at a friend.

"How should I know? But she's a regular, so chances are good." The other man shouted with a laugh.

"You know what I know?" The blonde asked, his voice just slightly slurred. "That girl is _H-O-T._"

The man laughed again, "She can definitely move."

Ryou walked away from the table, considering the short part of their conversation that he had overheard. Normally it wouldn't have stood out, except he thought he knew which girl the two guys were talking about. She wasn't exactly a "regular" as the second man had claimed, but—if it was the girl he was thinking of—she did come in usually once a week during the weekend, sometimes with friends, sometimes with a guy, sometimes alone. She never ordered food or drink, she never came and sat down; she came to dance.

"Ryou, sweetie, are you daydreaming over there or what?" Ryou looked up from his tray, which needed to be refilled with drinks and orders, and glanced over to the bar where a co-worker with long, wavy blonde hair, heavy makeup, and an outfit that practically screamed "Come-and-get-it" was leaning on her forearms, looking at him with a sly smile on her face. Her name was Mai Kujaku, one of the club's bartenders.

Ryou smiled. Of all of his co-workers, Mai was among his favorites. She was honest, sincere, and often it came across as blunt, but Ryou respected genuineness above most other traits in people. They'd been friends since he took the job.

He went over to the bar. Mai leaned over and kissed Ryou's cheek in greeting.

"What time did you get here?" Ryou asked her, setting his tray down, glancing around to first make sure that his boss was nowhere to be seen.

"Ten minutes ago." The sly smile came to her face again, "Maybe you would've noticed if you hadn't been so caught up in whatever little fantasy was rolling through that pretty head of yours. Thinking about a certain someone, hm?"

"Please," Ryou rolled his eyes, "I was working."

"Mm-hm," Mai nodded, "You work too much. You need to get yourself a girl, hon."

Ryou pursed his lips and tapped his fingers on the bar, "No time for girls, Mai." He said after a moment. He turned his eyes down, and lowered his voice, "Besides, I can't. You know why…"

Mai sighed dramatically. She ran a hand with long purple finger nails playfully through Ryou's hair then patted his cheek. "What I know, is that you shouldn't let _that_ hold you back from finding someone that you might really like." She took a step back and started to pour some drinks for the patrons who had come to the bar, but she called to him over the music, "Come on, Ryou, take a leap of faith."

Ryou picked up his tray. He shook his head, "It would never work. It couldn't." His face was set, "Some people aren't meant to have that."

Mai shook her head, blond curls bouncing. "If you never give it a chance, then you'll never know."

Ryou just frowned, ignoring Mai's words.

He went back to working, taking orders, filling orders, cleaning up messes, and interrupting any individuals who looked like they were having a heated conversation. His manager wanted no fights, not over girls, not over money, not for anything. Not in her club. So Ryou had to keep an eye out for the warning signs and try to make sure things got out of hand as seldom as possible.

He wasn't sure how much time had passed when he looked up from the table he was wiping off and saw _her_. It was the "regular" that he assumed the two men had been talking about earlier. She was already well into her groove, dancing to the rhythm of the music with steps that were smooth and fluid. All around her, people made some space, watching with rapt attention. It was always that way – the second she started to dance, all eyes seemed to find her.

Ryou wondered if she was aware that she had created an audience for herself in coming to the club on such a regular basis. She didn't seem to mind the people staring at her, or maybe she didn't notice.

The crazy thing was that the girl wasn't especially outstanding in terms of her appearance. She was thin, and her makeup was simple but elegant. Her hair was dark brown, chopped off just above her shoulders, the layers framing her heart-shaped face. She wore a pair of short denim cut-offs and a form-fitting black tank top that accentuated her trim dancer's figure. All things considered, the girl was very pretty, but not any more so than most of the other girls who hung out in The Venue. What made her really stand out was her skill.

As soon as she started to dance, the girl was flawless.

She swayed to the beat, her arms held up above her head, her feet moving in perfect tandem with the music. With her was another girl of the same age. Her hair, dyed the color of pale violet lilacs, was tied in a high ponytail with a yellow ribbon. She wore a pink skirt and a lacy white shirt, and was laughing, swinging her hips alongside her brunette friend.

Ryou realized that he was staring (alongside most of the club's other male patrons). He shook himself and began wiping the table again vigorously. Yet he couldn't help but glance up as he finished the table and moved on to the next one, and as he entered and exited the kitchen with more drinks his eyes seemed to find her without hesitation. Maybe it was the way she danced, her fit body spinning and weaving among the crowd. Maybe it was the exuberance and simple happiness that was evident on her face. Maybe it was the outgoing, personable nature that she emitted as she laughed and spoke to those around her. Whatever the reason, Ryou couldn't help it. He felt drawn to her.

He laughed suddenly, one small scoff that was swallowed amid the other sounds of the club. _What are you thinking?_ Ryou knew he was being ridiculous. He didn't even know the girl's name, let alone anything about her. _And even if I did, it wouldn't matter, _he reminded himself. And he was okay with that. He was used to being alone, perhaps even better off, and he didn't need anyone else to be happy. Besides, he convinced himself, she obviously got plenty of attention as it was. There was no point in entertaining ideas that she'd want it from him too.

He rolled his eyes as he walked behind the bar; Mai's talk of him finding a girl must've gotten to him.

"Take over for a while, will you, hon?" Mai said as he approached her, sliding a few beers down the length of the bar to some men on the far side. "I saw a hot blonde walk in here a few minutes ago, and I think he'd like to get a little attention from _moi_."

Ryou just laughed. Mai wasn't interested in relationships. She just liked attention, and she knew how to get it. "Only for you, but be back before Sensei notices you've dumped your shift on me. I have work to do too, you know."

"You're a gem, darling. And you know I'll return the favor if _you_ see something you like one of these nights," Mai said with a wink. Then she sashayed off in search of the man who was her new target.

Ryou got to work. The night was still relatively young, and the evening rush was in full swing. He mixed the drinks, setting them in front of their owners—not daring to try the slide Mai could perform with such ease. He knew he would just end up spilling drinks and breaking glasses if he did.

When Mai didn't return after fifteen minutes, Ryou knew that she had found her guy, and he'd taken an interest. She wouldn't be back until she got bored with him. It could be another five minutes. It could be an hour. Either way, Ryou wasn't concerned. He had two other co-workers on his shift—a shift he could, albeit with some difficulty, handle solo. He was sure they wouldn't miss him, and as the night wore on, the manager usually tended to stick to her office, not eager to deal with the rambunctious crowd, and trusting her employees and bouncers to take care of any and all problems that might arise.

Ryou knelt down, reaching under the counter to get to the some glasses that were near the back of the shelves.

"Excuse me," a female voice said over the din of the club.

"Hold on just one second," Ryou called as he grabbed two glasses in each hand. As he pulled up he misjudged his distance from the edge of the bar counter and smacked the top of his head with a large _thump_. "Ouch." He muttered, setting the glasses on the bar and rubbing his head as he stood up.

Ryou froze. The owner of the voice was sitting at a barstool, trying to politely cover up her gentle laughter at his clumsiness. It was the girl, the dancer. She was spinning back and forth on her stool; her skin was shining ever so slightly with perspiration, and her face was flushed. Her eyes, though, the color of the ocean on a cloudless day, were looking at him, full of excitement.

"Um, yes, what can I get you?" He asked, his voice flustered. He was all too aware of the fact that his face was heating up. Luckily, he knew that the flashing lights of the dance floor, and the dim bar lighting would cover it up.

"I just want a water, thank you." The girl said, folding her hands together in front of her.

"Absolutely," Ryou said, filling a glass with water from a spigot and dropping a few ice cubes in. He placed it in front of her and as she reached out to take it their hands brushed. A pleasant jolt rolled through Ryou's fingers, and he retracted them quickly, averting his gaze.

"Thank you," The girl said, looking slightly embarrassed, a smile curving her lips. She took the glass eagerly, lifting it to her lips and sighing contentedly as the cool liquid provided some relief from the heat of the dance floor.

Feeling unsure of himself for some reason, Ryou began to dry the glasses that had just finished being cleaned and set them in neat rows on the counter.

"What's your name?" The girl asked him after a few moments.

"Um, Ryou Bakura." He answered, looking up at her.

The girl smiled, "I'm Anzu." She held out a hand.

Ryou smiled slightly, surprised at her openness. He took her hand and gave it a firm shake, "Nice to meet you, Anzu."

Anzu looked like she wanted to say more, but just then a young man on the opposite end of the bar waved a hand towards Ryou, gesturing for him to come over. With a last smile towards the girl sitting before him, he walked over to him.

"What will you have?" Ryou asked, grabbing a glass and wiping it habitually with a fresh rag.

"Just a beer." He paused, a sly smile lighting his face. He lowered his voice slightly, "That girl you just served, what's she having?"

Ryou raised an eyebrow at him, "Water."

The man cursed under his breath, "Did you see her dancing?" He asked, and then whistled low. "She's something." He paused, twirling a strand of black hair around one finger. With a quirky smile, he asked, "Think she'd mind if I bought her a drink?"

Ryou frowned. The man looked to be a few years older than him. He had long black hair, tied up in a ponytail. Some loose hair framed his face, accented by a red headband patterned with black diamonds. He wore a matching red vest over a black tank top, and a white die on a chain hung from one ear. Most notable were his eyes, a luminous shade of green that almost appeared fluorescent under the club's lighting. They were enhanced by a thin line of black eyeliner. Ryou supposed that to most girls—possibly including Anzu—he would be considered attractive, and he felt something in him squirm ever so slightly.

Ryou glanced down the bar towards Anzu. Her friend had come over to the bar to join her, and they were giggling about something. Anzu happened to glance over at him just as he looked her way, and their eyes met for an instance. The same distinct shock that had rushed through his fingers minutes ago rolled down his spine. Ryou quickly looked back to the man he was serving.

"If you want my honest opinion," Ryou began, forcing with some difficulty the edge out of his voice as he reached into a fridge and grabbed a cold beer. He placed it in front of the man, "I don't think she's your type."

The guy narrowed his eyes, his good natured attitude disappearing. His lips curled in a sneer, and he snorted derisively, "Right. And what do you know about my 'type'?" He laughed, "Let me tell you something. I want a girl, I get the girl. The end," He lifted the bottle to his lips and tipped it back, taking a long drink.

_I should smash that bottle against your arrogant face, _Ryou thought suddenly, the words flying through his head lightning fast, hitting him like a physical blow, _Let's see how pretty your eyes are when you have shards of glass in them._ He clenched his fists slightly, feeling a sudden burning deep in his chest that felt as though something were clawing his insides, trying to escape.

"Well, that was fun," a voice interrupted his thoughts. Ryou blinked in sudden surprise and took a stumbling step back, leaning against the opposite counter. He slowly, deliberately relaxed his hands. They were shaking ever so slightly. He breathed in and out carefully, trying to erase the abrupt edgy feeling that was racing through him. Shaking his head slightly as though to clear it, he closed his eyes. The burning in his chest slowly cooled to a faded memory of warmth. He hesitantly straightened himself and wiped his hands on his pants just as Mai sauntered up to him.

"Guess who just got another number?" Mai waved a slip of paper in his face, and then stopped as she saw his expression. "Ryou, is everything okay?" She asked seriously, her voice quiet, filled with a knowing tone.

Ryou took a deep breath, "Yes, everything is fine."

"Are you sure—"

"I've got it under control, Mai." Ryou said gently, putting a trembling hand on her shoulder and squeezing.

She eyed him, looking unconvinced, but nodded slowly, "Okay. Well, thanks. You did me a real favor there… I might actually call this one." She winked at him.

Ryou smiled, but he could feel the worry gnawing at the edges of his psyche. That had been far too close. He glanced at Anzu again, still sitting at the bar with her friend, and said, "I'm going to take five." He moved past Mai and out into the club. Just needing to get away from the noise, he went into the only relatively quiet place in the club—the bathroom.

Ryou was relieved to find that, by some miracle, no one else was in there, and he went and turned on the sink. Quickly, he splashed some water over his face, rubbing his eyes and sighing as the cool water chilled his skin.

There was a reason he couldn't entertain any hopes of ever being with a girl like Anzu, he remembered, or anyone else. He unbuttoned the top three buttons on his work shirt slowly, tracing with slender fingers the beginnings of pale, raised skin that were the signs of disfiguring scars. He squeezed his eyes shut and redid the buttons quickly. He could never allow himself to forget. It didn't matter what Mai said about him deserving to find someone, or even about whether someone wanted to be with him. He leaned his hands on the sink, his head bowed, hair spilling around his face.

The fact remained that anyone who spent too much time with him was not safe.

_Stop it, _Ryou told himself harshly, looking up to stare at his own reflection in the mirror. He realized that he was making a massive assumption—that Anzu would ever be interested in him in the first place. It didn't matter that he couldn't be with her, because Anzu was a girl that had a million admirers, and even if he could allow himself to pursue her, she would never find any interest in a minimum-wage, bottom-rung bartender.

Ryou couldn't help the slight sensation of sinking disappointment in his chest as he came to that realization. Steeling himself, he gripped the edges of the sink tightly. _No,_ He wasn't going to let himself get sucked into those emotions. He would only make himself miserable, and for what? So that he could torture himself while some guy like the man with green eyes at the bar made his way into the life of this girl, a complete _stranger_ to him? Absolutely not.

He straightened, gazing back at himself through the reflective glass, fixed determination in his expression. Anzu was just a girl. Just another patron at The Venue. Just a stranger.

_And don't forget it_, something in him chided.

But sometimes—call it fate, bad luck or karma—things had a funny way being thrown back in your face as though just to spite you. It was like life wanted to prove that, no matter how determined you may be, you were meant to fail.

That's how it seemed to Ryou as he exited the hallway from the bathrooms and ran, quite literally, into the very person he had just determined he would avoid. Laughing, and not really paying attention to what was in front of her, Anzu—with her friend tagging along behind—had swung around the corner to the bathrooms and run straight into the silver-haired young man as he exited. She let out a little yelp of surprise, tripping backwards. Automatically Ryou's arms wrapped around her, steadying her. She laughed breathlessly, her hands clinging to his shoulders, and looked up at him, "I'm so sorry, I wasn't looking…"

Ryou felt his face heat up as he fully realized just who he was holding, only inches between them, and the not unpleasant shocks rushed through his body, tingling up and down his spine and making his skin hot. He quickly released her and took a step back, wanting nothing more than to duck his head and run.

"It's fine," he said gently, going around her.

"Wait!" She called after him.

He stopped, turning slowly. Anzu was standing there, an embarrassed smile on her face. Ryou looked between her and her friend, once again feeling unsure of himself. The other girl, Anzu's friend, was standing off to the side, and it was clear that she could barely contain her laughter. She was bouncing up and down slightly, looking excited. She gave Anzu a knowing glance, and then bounced back into the club, leaving the two of them alone, which only made Ryou more uncertain. He could feel his own confusion, but tried to mask it and look casual despite the myriad emotions warring in him.

Anzu was shifting back and forth, and after a slight hesitation she explained, "I was too scared to talk to you."

Ryou opened his mouth to respond, his forehead creasing, but she continued quickly, "All the other times I've come here. I was too scared to talk to you."

"…You don't strike me as being very shy." Ryou said honestly, trying to ignore his flushed face and the way his insides were twisting nervously.

_Get ahold of yourself. Remember that this—she—is off-limits, _he snapped to himself, trying to shut down the emotions roiling in him.

She laughed, "Usually I'm not." She ran a hand through her hair, pushing it away from her face, "Wow, I am just making a fool of myself, aren't I?"

Ryou couldn't help but smile at how flustered she was. Her skin was tinged red under the glowing lights, and he knew that she was blushing. Somehow that made her even prettier. "Not at all," he disagreed quickly, relishing the way she visibly relaxed at the reassurance.

She looked down at her hands, her fingers threading together, and said "Well, I might as well get to the point." She looked up at Ryou and her lips curved in just a hint of a smile, "I don't know you, but you seem like a really great guy. And…" She sucked in deep breath, and then in one giant gust said, "I think I'd like to get to know you better,"

Ryou's heart sped into high gear, his mind replaying the words again and again as though unable to believe that he could've heard correctly. He knew his face must have been shocked, but before he could think of anything to say, she was already continuing, as if now that she'd started she had to get all of it out at once. "I know this is a long-shot, you're probably busy, and you probably get this all the time, but I was just wondering if you would be interested in going out to dinner with me sometime."

Ryou felt like his heart would beat a rhythm right out of his chest; it was pounding so fast he thought it might stop. Anzu, the most fabulous dancer in the club, a girl who was not only talented and pretty, but also kind and honest and cheerful…and she had asked _him_ on a date. Of all people! He could almost imagine it, them together, and the words to agree were on the tip of his tongue. For a few precious moments he was soaring…and then he fell like a stone to the earth.

He couldn't do this.

_Don't forget._

"I…" The words were stuck in his throat. She was looking up at him, hopefulness brightening her features. "I'm so sorry, Anzu… I can't."

Her face fell and he cringed, his every instinct screaming to comfort her, to take it back, to admit that he _wanted _to go out with her. But each and every one was silenced by the wall of logic that surrounded him.

"Well," She said, her voice small. She gave a half-hearted shrug. "It never hurts to ask, does it?"

_It hurts me…_Ryou thought.

"It was good to finally talk to you anyways," The girl gave him one last weak smile, and then, obviously trying to hide her disappointment, turned and began to walk away.

Ryou watched her. His body was on fire. With every step she took away from him his heart sank deeper and deeper. His mind was throwing stone after stone of icy logic at him, battering his already bruised emotions.

And all the while he had Mai's voice in his head, _Come on, Ryou…Take a leap of faith. _

"If I hurt her, I could never forgive myself," He whispered. And that small, hopeful side of him whispered back, _If you're careful, then you won't. _

Ryou bit his lip. He remembered how close he'd come to losing control at the bar. And yet…this didn't have to mean anything. It was just dinner, after all. He could hear Mai's voice again, all sass and attitude, _Then go for it! Don't let her get away, dummy. _

Quashing the flutters of nerves and, with some effort, suppressing all of his earlier logic, he ran after the brunette dancer, catching up to her. She was standing near the door with her friend, as though about to leave. "Anzu," He said as he came up behind her. She swung around, and she looked at him in surprise. Fumbling, Ryou said the first thing that came to mind, "Hi."

Anzu bit her lip ever so slightly, and raised one eyebrow. "Hi," She said back slowly, obviously confused.

Deciding he just needed to spit it out, Ryou said quickly, "I made a mistake. I don't know what I was thinking, it must've been the hot air and…you know," _Lame excuse, _he thought_, stop acting like an idiot._ "What I'm trying to say is that I would really like to take you out some time." Anzu looked unsure, as though trying to decide if he was serious and so Ryou added a hesitant, "…if you are still interested."

Anzu exchanged a glance with her friend, and Ryou thought that she was going to say no. He had missed his opportunity. But then Anzu grabbed a clean napkin from a nearby table and pulled a pen from her purse. She quickly wrote down seven digits, and then something else. She folded the napkin and smiled at him. She held it out, but as he took it she hung on, wrapping her fingers around his.

"You cut that pretty close," She said, light dancing in her eyes.

Ryou smiled, "Believe me," He said softly, "I know."

She gave his hand a squeeze, and said, "Talk to you later," then she and her friend—who was grinning ear-to-ear as she watched the exchange between the two of them—linked arms and walked out the door. Anzu threw one last glance over her shoulder at Ryou before the door swung shut, and their eyes met the same way they had at the bar. This time, Ryou didn't look away. Then the door was closed.

Ryou unfolded the napkin she'd handed him. On it was her name (as if he could forget), a number, and below that was a short line in curving script that said, _Don't wait too long to call, _underlined twice. Ryou smiled and refolded the napkin, putting it in his pocket with his cell phone.

He walked back to the bar to retrieve his tray and return to working, and as he did Mai said coyly, "Don't think I didn't see that, Ryou Bakura."

Ryou turned around in surprise, "I have no clue what you're talking about."

Mai just looked at him skeptically, "Uh-_huh_…I thought you said you didn't have time for girls." She smirked, "You seemed pretty eager to get some one-on-one with that pretty brunette."

Looking at her, ignoring his own flushed cheeks, he shrugged nonchalantly—as though it were no big deal, "I guess something you said finally got through to me."

"Good thing too," Mai grinned, "I mean, it took you long enough. Do you even remember the last time you went out?" She filled two shot glasses and slid one to him. "I will say that you definitely know how to pick 'em." She winked at him and downed the shot. "I guess you're the all-or-nothing type, hm?"

"It's a date, Mai, not a relationship." Ryou reminded her, but he couldn't keep the smile off his face, and though he usually didn't drink, he took the shot glass and swallowed the burning liquid quickly.

Mai just laughed, and Ryou playfully smacked her arm before he filled his tray and returned to the dining area. He ignored the unwanted attention with ease now, distracted as he thought about Anzu, letting his mind wander.

Ryou realized just how close he'd come to letting her go. And it made him almost sick… He sighed, imagining the number in his pocket.

_Don't forget…_

He frowned suddenly. He'd entirely ignored his logic for the past ten minutes. When he'd been with Anzu, not a single stray thought of his condition had occurred to him. That was dangerous. He couldn't allow it to happen again, especially not around Anzu. He'd have to be more careful.

_This is different, I won't hurt her_, he tried to console himself. But he'd lost control before, sometimes out of provocation, sometimes when he least expected it. He didn't trust himself. It didn't seem to matter that he knew certain limits, things that tended to act as a catalyst, and avoided them. And even though he could recognize the burning in his chest…sometimes things got out of hand.

This thing with Anzu would be new. He wouldn't know the limits. He wouldn't know what to watch out for.

Ryou bit his lip worriedly, but then he shook his head. It would be fine.

And if he told himself that enough…he might actually start to believe it.

But for now, he would be content, looking to the future, full of possibilities.

Even he could let himself dream.

* * *

A/N: A sequel is in the works, in which Ryou's "condition" is more fully explained, and we see whether or not there will be repercussions to his decision to go out with Anzu. I'm going to post it as both a second Oneshot, and as a second chapter to this story. Watch for it!

Review please...


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